One cold morning, I felt a soft tap on my arm, I just re-adjusted my sleeping position and pulled my duvet above my ears. Just before I slipped further in my sleep, I felt the tap again…This time I was angry, I bat my eyes open to see who or what was troubling my sweet sleep.  It was my mother’s eye I saw gaping down at me with mixed emotions.  I got up slowly, trying to understand her expression and the reason why she was in my room at 5am. I thought I was on holiday and I could sleep till 7am, afterwards, get to eat breakfast with my siblings at the table. Just before I concluded that thought…..it came rushing down…. events of the day before.

My father believes so much in communication. So, whenever there was a situation at home, he calls a meeting. If the situation bothers him through the night, he gets up before dawn to call a meeting. This time, it was me, I was the situation. I had just finished my secondary school education and I had come home with a result that spelt a woeful future. In simple terms, I failed almost all my subjects.

Please don’t ask me what I was thinking and don’t give me that look. Youthful exuberance has its rewards. That’s my reward for not being conscious of what I was in school for. I wasn’t even sure of who I was and what I represented.

He usually starts with a short prayer. This particular meeting, after prayers, he asked me what my next plan was, since, all my mates who had passed were on their way to university. I looked down at my palms and spoke quietly, my sibling sitting close by could barely hear me…”Will you speak up or you want me to slap that mouth of yours? Is this the time to keep quiet? After spending so much on school fees, support you, provide you the best and you return with such disgracing result, and can’t even speak up for me to hear…. you better speak up or I will teach how to”, he shouted.

I sat there trembling and startled; I haven’t seen my father this angry before, especially at me. So I tried harder to speak up, I was ashamed and full of guilt and as I spoke I met my mother’s eyes filled with tears as the clouds when it’s about the rain. “I will re-enroll’, I said

That’s what dad needed to hear, though angry and spoke more angry words. He steered the wheel in motion as he always does. He started to make new plans with strategies, he asked me some questions, he asked for some truth…he asked me if I knew what was responsible for that result and what I think can be done. He also asked me if there are things I expected from him and my mum as parents….. I answered all his questions. He then did what was the most important thing and that is what has kept me bound to him till this day. He encouraged me. He told me that I have capacity, he told me I have gifts, he told me I could become the successful person he sees since from infant. He supported all his words with pictures, stories and illustrations from the neighborhoods, families, and friends. Finally, he told me to choose what path to thread. He dismissed everyone by telling my mum his schedule for the day.

One of the easiest things in life is to fall and one of the most difficult things to do in life is to stand up… Getting back on the wagon is not exactly the issue here; the issue is the process it takes to get back up. The decision to get up or not is one thing, making it up again is another thing.

For me, my biological father is my greatest motivator. He makes sure he is the first contact after the fall. He believes in talking it out, which is the first process of healing. He fills your entirety with the right words. He won’t allow any other thing sink except his, and his message is usually the same. “There is no big deal in falling; the big deal is not to stay fallen”.

You may not have a biological father or mother who can do what my father does. But I am sure you can choose the people you allow into your world, you can choose your  friends, you can choose the right environment, you can choose your mentor, you can choose your words, you can choose what goes into you (what you read, watch, hear). These are the things that determine getting up and also staying up.  Importantly, being in a functional relationship with God is the ultimate. The process will fail again if you leave Him out.

Today’s a new day, there are blue skies….  Try again!



Just this year alone, I realize that people who are greater, smarter, more skilful, intelligent and have it all together have passed on. I am really sorry, I do not mean to upset or scare you but everytime i feel like giving up, signing out or logging out, I remember the words of my big dad that tells me that if I am joined to the living, there is hope. He tells me that this hope will not put me to shame. So, I am telling you that you’ve got nothing to be scared or worried about because big dad’s got your back. So, get up, take a shower, do a moderate adornment, step out with a confident smile and say to the world that there is a lifting up for you an your household even when your environment, situations and circumstances may be suggesting a casting down.



The best gift you can ever give somebody or be given is a “watch me do it” gift. No one wants to stay behind a parked car. Follow someone who keeps moving. Learn from someone who’s been where you want to be, ask questions, learn from their mistakes, collapse their years of experience by reading their lives, books, journals, biographies. Experience is not necessarily the best teacher, my mentor would say, you can do in one year what others did in ten years just by applying the wisdom. Bishop T.D Jakes said some time ago, “…GLEAN BEHIND THE REAPERS!” (That’s Ruth’s story in the bible.)


My friend paid me a visit on a bright sunny day, but as soon as I opened my front polished door to invite her in, the sun seem to be setting all of a sudden as I saw her gloomy face. She hesitated before she walked in and I stared at her questioningly.

We sat and before I could open my mouth to offer her anything, she heaved a sigh,”I knew it”, she blurted out, almost in tears, “When am I going to succeed? When am I going to achieve any kind of success in all I set out to do? It looks as if I am not destined to reach my goals, I start out with the best of ideas but I don’t have results, I never do! I am not a child any longer…this whole thing is frustrating me… Sola, I feel like ending it all… I am just tired…. I mean….”

Shh! …… I put a finger to her lips. “Don’t ever say something of such, don’t ever conclude about your life like that. Don’t you not know that you are what you say….” I started chastising her. I calmed her down and encouraged her with some few words, telling her that all will be well and I told her not to give up. I wiped her tears with my palms and I offered her some snacks as she put herself together.

Later, I accompanied her to the car when she was leaving, I hugged her good bye and reminded her not to forget all I had told her earlier and she nodded with a smile. As soon as I shut my precious polished door (wink), I began to think. I thought about her situation thoroughly because I knew my friend to be very intelligent and I started to ask myself what the problem could be.

Bing! Bing! Bing! … Suddenly a light flipped on in my head……Passion! That’s what is missing. That’s what makes her start a project and not finish, that’s what makes her embark on a task and not complete it. Even though she comes up with the best of ideas and fantastic proposals, and I also wonder why I don’t usually come up with such, it occurred to me that the missing ingredient to make the fascinating sumptuous meal of success is passion. She’s got intentions, she’s got ideas  but she lacks the variable to complete the equation.

So the big question is……what is Passion? I set out to answer this question and below are my findings:

According to Toni Morris, “Passion is something resonating deeply within the soul. It is usually a sign of how God made us special.” Passion is any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate. It is a strong amorous feeling or desire. Passion is required for a meaningful life. It is not just something we need to survive, to gain notability, to succeed or to acquire anything you set out to achieve.

Usually, you hear statements like… “You must have passion to…., you must discover, find or possess passion to …”

The question is, does passion equal purpose? Not at all, passion does not equal purpose rather passion helps you to arrive at your destination. Passion creates purpose. Passion creates pursuits. It is the energy that fuels a project or task. It plays a similar role to inspiration. When passion is evident in a task, external constraints are out of it. It provides the flow that correlates directly with purpose. It is the fire that burns in your belly. Passion keeps your eye locked to your goal and it must lead you to engage in something greater than self.

Passion is a self defining activity that one likes or finds important, which one invests time and energy. It comes from basic human instinct, life events and experiences, positive thoughts. It is what differentiates humans from animals. It is the answer that emerges in your conscious mind when you ask sincere questions from yourself – why am I here? What am I supposed to do with my life? You can call PASSION appetite, craving, desire, eroticism, excitement, fondness, infatuation, urge…whatever you call it, see it in the light of Mac Anderson who encourages that you, “Find what makes your heart sing and create your own music.”

Note that passion is not obsession, obsession leads to frustration and disappointment, it leads to burn out. It is usually born out a wrong reason.

So, develop a STRONG REASON like my mentor would say, STRONG REASON to live, love, stay in that marriage, succeed in that business, raise that child, conquer that challenge, get that dream job, achieve that aspiration, forgive that person, overlook that mistake, overcome that fear, launch that vision, travel the world and inspire your world.



“When you hear things that discourage you or depress your spirit, without hesitation, respond by speaking words that fortify your spirit. It is warfare! Do not let discouraging words of unbelief settle in your heart where you start meditating over what was said. DON’T LET THE EGGS HATCH IN YOUR SOUL!”

I actually read that on a friend’s page some days back and i took the pain to copy it out so i can share with you. We probably don’t know the power or the effectiveness of words in our lives, especially the ones you speak. I will tell you this; words formed the universe, formed you and i, formed whatever you see that makes you marvel….

But it can never work for you if it is misused, if your words conflict, if you still speak words because they are in vogue or because they make you feel good before your friends. It means the fountain where your words springs from is founded on a brick of confusion. You have to be consistent to be the words that you say, you have to speak positive words. You cannot generate positive and negative words at the same time. You have to be consistent, so consistent that you counter alien words. Your words will either make you or mar you, you are your words!

Stay Positive, Speak Life!


Ever seen a chair leaping around in pursuit of someone to sit on it? Same thing for purpose, purpose doesn’t go around looking for who to fulfill it. You are the one to find and achieve purpose. (smiles)…. that’s how purpose fulfill purpose……

That’s how a woman finds love… she finds a man by staying in her space. Heard this before…” He who FINDETH a wife FINDETH a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.”

Lol! How does a man find a woman who is out of her space, searching for the one searching for her… ?

Stay in your space….Ile lapoti joko de idi!